Weeding through the wasteland…
I was walking today around the pond in my neighborhood, listening to music, just taking some time to be outside. The pond that I was walking around is by no means pretty. It does nothing for the eyes or soul. It’s very obviously man-made, surrounded by houses and concrete with no privacy from the nosey eyes of neighbors. The only bright side is the trees and the “wildlife”(aka ducks and oversized catfish).
I live in constant dissatisfaction with the scenery by my house. It makes me feel closed in and caged, but as I was walking I was struck with a single word, that word was: details. I started peering in closer at my surroundings, beginning with the trees. Trees are made up of more than just “tree” they’re leaves, bark, branches, some have blooms. I did the same thing with the ground. There are blades of grass, dirt, bugs, those puny little flowers that are more weeds than anything. And I got to thinking…
When life gets stressful, I have the tendency to zoom in on one single thing and all I will see is the struggle. It’s as if the whole situation is one big blob. But trees are not just trees, they’re intricately designed and detailed. The struggle is more than just a struggle. It is a process that has a number of elements that form it. When I take a step back and see the struggle for what it is, as something that is pushing me to become more Christ like, it takes on a new sort perspective. As Romans 5:3-5 says “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” I’m finding courage in the fact that the struggle has the ability to produce far greater character qualities than that of a life without problems or pain.
In all honesty, I’m not fully certain where God wants me to be heading for my future. But what I do know, is that he is calling me to live fully where I am at. Right now. To not be caught up in the struggle, but to be seeking Him out in every situation and finding him in the details. I think God gifted us with moments as a way to help us live more fully where we’re at. When you live in the moment, you’re not living out of your past, not living for the future, you’re just in the moment. There’s something truly peaceful about that. This whole idea of living fully where I am is doing a couple things inside of me. The most notable of these, is that it’s a reminder of how far I am yet to go in trusting God with my all. I have such a clean plan of how my life is supposed to work out and how it should look right now. However, I am reminded that God’s plan for me far surpasses any plan that I could ever lay out for myself. That thought and realization is both exciting and uncomfortable. Exciting because who knows what the coming years, or even months might hold. But uncomfortable because it forces me to let go of control over my life and to be okay with the fact that my Heavenly Father knows exactly where I’m supposed to be. Though I know God has my back, none of it feels tangible, which is scary. But my God “can do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us” (Ephesians 3:20). So, I’m taking the leap, knowing that he at work in ways that I cannot see, and is using every circumstance to bring me closer to him.
So there’s the end of that little detour in my wasteland. Once again, this post is similar to my last in that I really wasn’t sure what I was going to write about when I sat down, but I knew that I had something to say. Apologies for the lack of structure, I realize I kinda went all over the place.
Thank you for joining me on that little venture.
Until next time,
peace out y’all